Garden

Pale Pink

Limelight lovers

Landscape 1

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Landscape 3

So ba so good

I had dinner with Shang today. We went to the Shimbashi Soba Japanese restaurant at Paragon basement. This is my third time within ten days to have soba. I like the soba; it tastes light, delicious, and it’s healthy. I have never like noodle in life; you can imagine how good this soba must be, for me to visit it three times within ten days. I am planning to go there with Zen this Sunday.

Shang is someone who probably knows me more than anyone else in this world, other than God. We are comfortable with each other, we knows each others' likes and dislikes, from the food we eat, the clothings we wear, the hairstyle we like, to the principles we hold on to. There’s a certain degree of bond between us.

One thing I hate about him now, is each time we go out together, he will try to hold my hand, I got very annoyed with him, I felt reluctant to go out with him again. Everything has changed! Can't he see? Can't he feel? I’m no longer his girlfriend, I’m no longer in a relationship with him.

Through holding hands is a common thing in the present society, I do not want to do anything that will mislead him, I do not want to give him hope that there will be chances to get back together. Though at times, I am tempted, for I know he genuinely cares for me, he is someone I could rely on with no doubt.

I know it is tough to start a new relationship with someone else, to build the same level of bondage, trust and understanding. It is tiring, to know someone from scratch, to learn about their habits, their likes, their dislikes. There is so much of uncertainties behind it.

No matter what happened, I just want to remain as friends with him, and nothing more than that. I do wish well, pray that he will find someone to share his life with, someone who will love him, someone who will cherish him. So do I! I do wish God will give me a God-fearing man to share my life with, who will not only love me and cherish the relationship, but to hold and apply the same values and principles in life.

In the mean time, I’ll just enjoy my Soba.

How should I deal with the impact of rejection in my life?

When we feel the blow of major rejection -- like the unfaithfulness of a mate, the wound of a family member, or the betrayal of a close friend -- we may wonder if we will ever find someone who will love us again.

In an emotional trauma, we try to make sense of our pain. There's a constant drive to understand and explain why this agony is happening. During this time we can be tempted to respond to rejection in unhealthy ways. We can develop a contempt for ourselves, a contempt for others, a contempt for God, or a combination of all three.

In self-contempt, we take the full responsibility for the failure of the relationship. We wonder, What is it about me that causes people to leave me? We doubt our value as a person, and everything about us is called into question. Doubts of our ability to maintain a loving relationship trouble us. We think, They must have seen something so repulsive in me that no one can love me. Facing the rejection of a spouse, for example, can be especially difficult when you see other couples staying together through devastating experiences. We wonder why our own relationship could not stand the test of trials.

Contempt for others is another response we might use to try and make some sense of our pain. It holds others as fully responsible for the dynamics in the relationship. We view them as evil. We write them off with, "It's all their fault." Or we might put distance between others and ourselves and view them with contempt. We avoid close relationships because we believe that no one can be trusted.

Contempt for God blames Him for our pain. We reason that if He is in control of our lives and He loves us, why didn't He protect us from this heart-breaking experience? Those who have been rejected and abused by their parents as children, in particular, can tend to blame an all-powerful God for their suffering. Rejection and loss causes us to doubt that God loves us because we are angry with Him for not protecting us and allowing it to happen.

At first, contempt for ourselves, others, and God works for us. It helps us maintain the facade that we have everything under control because we have "explained" the reason for the pain. We can now go on with our lives, fixing what we can about ourselves and keeping everyone (including God) at a distance. This drive to control our world is so strong that we would rather hate ourselves (self-contempt) than be faced with the fact that we are not in control and that we may be hurt again.

What sounds good about contempt is that it does not require facing additional pain. It avoids grieving losses. It sedates the heart and it keeps others from getting too close. That sounds inviting to a hurting person, but if we nurture contempt, it will lead to depression, loneliness, and bitterness.

We are desperately afraid, because to love again we must risk being vulnerable and admit that we do care, no matter how hard we try to numb our hearts. When we are at the end of our rope and we begin to realize that contempt no longer works for us, we can choose a better way of dealing with life. Letting others get close to us and learning to trust again leads us through the process of grief. For a person who has been hurt, grieving may sound like a sadistic choice. But grief will lead us down the path to restoring our faith, embracing hope, and opening ourselves up to love.

Grieving is important because it provokes us to cry out to God, and thereby to open ourselves to His healing ( Psalm 34:17 ). He is ultimately the One who can give us comfort and protection ( Psalm 61:3; Matthew 5:4 ). When we grieve, we face the truth that we have been deeply hurt and there is something lacking. There is a hole in our hearts that hurts terribly.

It may not feel like it at first, but healing begins when we face the sadness and disappointment of the loss of our hopes and dreams. We tend to avoid our feelings (i.e. deep sadness) because we are afraid that they will consume us, that we will never find comfort. But if we act in faith and "throw ourselves" on the Lord in dependence and cry out to Him, He will be the rock that saves us from the overwhelming waves of pain ( Psalm 34:18 ). God's comfort gives us hope -- hope for a brighter future and for love again. Life without hope is not worth living. Scripture says that God will fill us with hope ( Romans 15:13 ). It also recognizes the vitality and necessity of hope (Psalm 119:116; 147:11 ).

The process of growth is difficult because it engages us in an agonizing battle between faith and doubt. When doubt begins to get the best of us, we will be tempted to give up. Contempt will seduce us as we fight through intense emotion and questions. Ironically, resisting contempt and entering into this dark valley of emotion is when we can begin to see our faith deepen.

When we see our faith deepen and we are reminded of how God is working in our lives, hope grows. Hope gives us the motivation to love, which is the most important element in the believer's life ( Matthew 22:37-40; 1 Corinthians 13:13 ). Love will open our hearts to hear the truth about our strengths and shortcomings ( 1 Corinthians 13:6 ). Love will soften our hearts for others, cultivate forgiveness, and help us face the beams in our own eyes before we look at the specks in the eyes of our brothers or sisters ( Matthew 7:3-5 ).

We can't fight this battle alone. We need to talk to strong Christian friends who can remind us of the truth of God's love for us. It's important to have friends who will give us freedom and support as we grapple with our doubts and fierce emotion. We may need to seek the help of a good biblical counselor during this rough time. And filling our minds with the truth of God's Word will strengthen us. Meditating on Scripture will equip us and cause our faith to grow.

Unhealthy responses to the pain of rejection inhibit a life of joy, peace, and love. But responding to rejection in a healthy manner, by honestly grieving and crying out to God, can strengthen our character, deepen our faith, and allow God to change and heal our hearts. We can learn to embrace a hopeful vision that God is up to something good in our lives, even in the midst of heart-breaking rejection ( Romans 8:28 ).

Is it a serious mistake for two people to marry without sharing the same faith?

In 2 Corinthians 6:14 the apostle Paul wrote:

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?

Imagine being in a relationship with someone you love and care for deeply. You take long walks together, talk till dawn, share many of the same interests. Your companion seems to be the one you have been searching for all your life. There's only one problem -- that person doesn't share your faith. What should you do?

When Paul says that Christians shouldn't be "yoked" together with unbelievers, he uses the image of two draft animals pulling a load. An ox and a donkey fastened to the same yoke won't work well together. They are "unequally yoked," with serious differences in height, size, and gait. Struggling to compensate for their differences, they squander their strength.

Paul's example is a good metaphor. In some ways, a "team" of two people is better equipped to handle life's load of stress and responsibility. But unless a husband and wife are working together as a team, their union becomes a liability rather than an asset.

When Paul warned the Corinthian Christians about avoiding an "unequal yoke," paganism and Christianity stood in sharp contrast. Corinthian paganism involved sacrifices to idols and flagrant sexual immorality. Today, 2,000 years of Christian influence on Western culture has softened the distinction between "pagans" and "Christians" in some ways. Modern "pagans" have often adopted enough Christian values to be decent, moral people by Christian standards, and there are many nominal Christians who don't understand the meaning of Christ's words, "I tell you the truth, no-one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again" ( John 3:3 ).

Even so, being unequally yoked is never a minor matter. In Ephesians 2:1-5 the apostle Paul vividly described the difference between Christians and non-Christians. No matter how decent, moral, or likeable a modern pagan may be, he is spiritually dead, at odds with his Creator. Without God, his goals are irrational and unsatisfying, and he is drifting on a downward arc toward absurdity, chaos, and -- ultimately -- hell. Like a sleepwalker, a person who hasn't been supernaturally awakened by the Spirit of God may seem conscious, but actually he is unaware of the most important things around him ( Ephesians 5:8-15 ).

How can someone who is supernaturally alive through the miracle of God's grace live in harmony with someone who is dead? How can someone who is awake communicate with someone who is asleep? How will the two of them set priorities, rear their children, select their major relationships?

Christians should take the command in 2 Corinthians 6:14 with the utmost seriousness. Of course, God's grace still is at work in the lives of people who are unequally yoked, and apart from the grace of God we would all be lost ( Ephesians 2:8-10 ). Unbelieving spouses sometimes do become Christians through the influence of their mates ( 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 ). But a believer should never presume upon God's grace ( Romans 6:1 ). There are consequences for disobedience, and the risks are much too high.

Do you know…

the shortest chapter in the Bible is Psalm117

the longest chapter in the Bible is Psalm119

the centre chapter of the Bible is Psalm118

There are 594 chapters before Psalm118.
There are 594 chapters after Psalm118.
Add these numbers up and you will get 1188.

The centre verse in the Bible is Psalm118:8


“It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.”
-Psalm118:8 (NKJV)

The next time someone says they would like to find God’s perfect will for their lives and that they want to be in the centre of His will, just send them to the centre of His word.

Late for breakfast

"It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation I asked him if he had a doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim ofAlzheimer Disease. As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said. "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptanceof all that is, has been, will be, and will not be."

"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along their way."

Hmmm... It's a meaningful story. I wonder when will I meet someone who will love me with all his heart, all his soul, all his mind.

Starry starry night 1

Starry starry night 2

Starry starry night 3

Bouncing back from failure

by Rick Warren

Have you ever made a mistake? Welcome to the human race. It just means you’re alive. The Bible says in James 3:2, We all stumble in many ways. We’re all living proof of this verse. But everybody wants to be a success ? nobody wants to be a failure.

Come to think of it, I’ve never met anybody in life who’s said, “My goal in life is to fail.” Everyone wants to succeed. As a society, this puts a lot of stress on us because failure is a part of life. Yet, many people will do anything ? lie, cheat, steal ? in order to succeed. It’s that important. Failure in America is considered the unpardonable sin.

Failing isn’t fatal
Because we value success so much, we tend to exaggerate the effects of failure. But failure isn’t the end of the world. You won’t die from it. With failure ? you fail, you pick yourself up, and you go on

One of the best ways to bounce back from failure is to redefine it.

Failure is not failing to reach your dreams. Failure is not having a dream.
Failure is not setting a goal and missing it. Failure is not having a goal.
Failure is not falling down. Failure is refusing to get back up.

If at first you don’t succeed, big deal! It’s usually the second, third, or fourth time you actually get it right. You are never a failure until you give up. Remember, everybody fails.

Failure has benefits
Did you know that one of God’s primary tools in making you the kind of person he wants you to be is failure? He uses it in your life to mold you, shape you, and develop your character. While we rarely learn from our successes (because we typically attribute it to our sheer nature talent!), we can learn from our failures.

We usually think of failure as being a negative experience, but wise people learn from failure and use it to their advantage. They learn from it and grow from it. They use it as a stepping stone.
God often uses failure to educate us. Along the way we figure out what doesn’t work and eventually when we figure out enough things that don’t work, we’re going to figure out what does. Psalm 119:71 says, My troubles turned out all for the best. They forced me to learn from God’s textbook. God’s textbook is the Bible and it is often in the midst of failure that we open its pages searching for truth, instruction, comfort, support, and encouragement. God says, “Sometimes I have to use failure to get you into this book so you’ll start looking and realize that it’s a textbook that I want to teach you.”

When Kay and I first married, our first years together were pretty rough. While we were in love with each other and believed that God had put us together, we were total opposites and simply didn’t get along. We couldn’t communicate. We couldn’t negotiate. Everything was wrong, and we were both miserable. If it hadn’t been for the fact that we were both committed Christians who felt that divorce was not an option, we wouldn’t have continued trying to save the marriage. But we said, “We’re going to make this marriage work if it kills us” ? and it nearly did. For two-and-a-half years we struggled and failed. Finally, we swallowed our pride, found a Christian counselor, and got the help that turned our marriage around and set us on the right path. I look back now and think about some of the lessons I learned in those first years of our marriage. They were lessons that prepared me to pastor Saddleback Church today. I look back and thank God for the failures I experienced because they were learning experiences. God educated me through my failures.

God’s grace found in failure
God is not surprised when you fail. He knows it’s going to happen. In fact, he expects it.

And even when you do fail, God doesn’t stop loving you. That’s called grace. Psalm 103:14 says, God knows what we’re made of. He remembers that we are dust. He knows the frailties of your humanity. He doesn’t expect you to be perfect and more importantly, he doesn’t stop loving you when you fail.

Often when you’re in the middle of a failure, it’s difficult to see God’s hand in your life. As an adult, Mary’s greatest fear in life was being alone. She didn’t feel that she could function as a whole woman unless she was married, so she designed her life to avoid this failure at all costs. Married to a successful airline executive and enjoying the American dream that included a five-bedroom home and three beautiful daughters, she felt she had it all and could not fail. What could possibly go wrong?

One day her best friend died after a 22-month battle with breast cancer. The next day, her husband packed his things and moved out of their home to be with someone else he said he loved. Mary was shattered. Devastated, she felt she had failed miserably. Even though she was surrounded by wise counsel and Christian friends at church, that time in her life became a blur. Filled with anger and feeling incapable of being a single parent, her failure even took away her desire to live and she contemplated suicide. Eventually, with God’s help and the support and love of her family and church, Mary was able to overcome her failures and begin her life again.

What Mary later realized was that long before any of this began, God had looked ahead and saw the wreck of failure on the road of her life. Knowing what she would face, he fastened her in with the seatbelt of his Word, protected her with a cushioned airbag of her family, daughters and his people, and provided her a window of escape through his love and grace.

Even today, Mary is amazed at how God has taken the most painful event of her life and brought good out of it. She has served as a valued staff minister at Saddleback Church, providing a Christ-centered place of comfort, encouragement and support for women who are struggling with the pains of rejection and failure.

Mary bounced back from failure because she was able to deal with it, receive forgiveness, learn from it, grow from it, and let it motivate her. She found God’s grace in her failure.

Bouncing back from failure may not be the easiest thing you’ll ever do in your life, but it’s something that God wants to help you accomplish. It doesn’t matter what failure you’ve gone through or which one you’re going through right now. Big or small, it hasn’t changed God’s purpose for your life. Allow God to teach you, motivate, and grow you through your failure. He still has a plan for your life and a place for you in this world.

"We usually think of failure as being a negative experience, but wise people learn from failure and use it to their advantage. They learn from it and grow from it. They use it as a stepping stone." - Rick Warren

遇见

听见冬天的离开我在某年某月醒过来
我想我等我期待未来却不能因此安排
阴天傍晚车窗外未来有一个人在等待
向左向右向前看爱要拐几个弯才来

我遇见谁会有怎样的对白
我等的人他在多远的未来
我听见风来自地铁和人海
我排著队拿著爱的号码牌

我往前飞飞过一片时间海
我们也曾在爱情里受伤害
我看著路梦的入口有点窄

我遇见你是最美丽的意外

总有一天我的谜底会解开

I will be having my examination in two weeks time. I have not started revising and have not even touched any of the notes or books at all : ) The strangest thing is that I am not afraid that I will flunk any of the papers, I don’t have any fear of failure at all. I am totally calm and cool about it. Probably, it is no longer a top priority for me. No matter what, I will still finish it, I wouldn’t give up.

Not studying, so what have I been doing? Haha : ) I like the way things are now, working out in the gym, doing my nails, browsing through Kinokuniya, having Tiramisu with a good book, drinking with friends, dancing at a club, going out alone, doing all the things that I want to do. I’m luving it : )

One of my childhood friends are making plans to train me for running. I am surprised, never knew that running could be trained. I thought its pure endurance and determination. I have never like running in my life, he said that my perception is going to change and I’ll grew to luv it and addicted to it. Really??? : ) I don’t know, but I’m going to try anyway. It’ll be a challenge. Hopefully one day, I will be able to complete a full marathon.

I will be picking up ballroom dancing as well, couldn’t make up my mind if I should take up waltz, salsa, rumba or tango. Probably got the dancing virus after watching ‘Take the lead’ with Alan weeks ago. I like the music, I like the moves, I like the body language, it’s graceful, attractive, sensual and it’s also a good form of exercise.

I want to go to the Tree-top walk, I miss swimming and cycling. Probably, I’ll get back to routine when my examination’s over : )

God is good all the time;
All the time God is good : )

Just got home. It’s kind of unexpected that I’ll be out late today. I knew a girl today; she’s one of a kind. All her emotions are written all over her face, she express her feelings openly, she wouldn’t suppress her feelings, she will just let it all out as and when. I realized that I’m very different from her. Probably due to the environment that I grew up in, I’m someone who could hide and suppress my feelings and emotions very well. Sometimes, too well, till I’m like a block of cold and icy ice cube. I do have feelings, but my logical sense always overrules my emotional being. I can’t bring myself to do things that are illogical. Things that I am unsure of, I wouldn’t jump into it, no matter how much my feeling wants me to. There are times when I choose to listen to my heart, follow my feelings, take a chance on it, I got hurt. I don’t feel good and it demobilized me and takes me a while to get over it. Each time, my logic proves me right, the more I disregard my own feeling. I know it’s not a good thing, but neither is it a bad thing, I’m learning to let go. It is part of my life journey that I need to go through.

Pains, hurts, obstacles, setbacks could actually make me grew stronger.

All these trials are like part of a molding process, it builds up my emotion, character and well-being. I am not sure of the effects on other people, but at least for me, I learn to get over it, move on, reflect and learn the things I could improve on if the same situations happen again.

Of course, saying is easier than done. It is not easy, it never will be, but it’s how you choose to handle these entire negatives hitch. You can end it by
1. making a mountain out of a mole hill, the world doesn’t belongs to you alone. It’s not a good way to do things, everyone involved will get hurt. In the end, not only that it doesn’t look good on you, and also, you may even feel worse than ever.
2. suppressing all the emotions quietly, and exit from the situation like nothing happened at all. You will probably look older than your actual age, escaping from problem is not healthy. It’s not problem solving at all, the problem still remains. Nothing is done at all and the root of bitterness may grow.
3. reflecting on yourself first, think what went wrong, how did you contribute to the situation, what can you do to salvage it. It doesn’t matter which party is at fault. It is forgiving and reconciliation that matters. Sometimes, people say, “Sorry” is not because they admit they’re at fault, but because they want to reconcile with the opposite party and to salvage the situation. Communication plays a vital part in it, using the right tone and the right approach; in fact everything could be resolved. It’s just how much you wanted it. Always clarify when in doubt, this helps to clear up misunderstanding. Even if at the end of the day, if things couldn’t work out, at least you know you have tried your best and there’s no regret.

That’s what I think!
Everyday is a beautiful day : )

Expectations

by Os Hillman

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. ~ Philippians 1:20

Have you ever had expectations that did not get fulfilled? Perhaps a coworker let you down. Perhaps you were trusting God for something in your life that never materialized. Perhaps you became devastated by an unmet expectation that you felt you were entitled to. Expectations can be a difficult trap for each of us if we are not fully committed to God's purposes in our lives.

Paul wrote this verse from prison to the people of Philippi. He had an expectation that his life would bring glory to God, whether through his continued ministry or his death. His joy in living was not based on his expectations getting fulfilled, but on remaining true to the purpose for which God made him.

When we react to circumstances with bitterness and resentment as a result of unmet expectations, we are saying that we know better than God, and that God has made a mistake in not meeting our expectations. The process of resolving unmet expectations may require full disclosure to the individual who was the source of the unmet expectation, and of how the unmet expectation made you feel. This is not to make the person feel obligated to meet the expectation, but simply to share your feelings about it. If God was the source, then it is important to share this with the Lord. However, once we have done this we must let go of the situation and allow God to work in our hearts the grace that is needed to walk in freedom from the pain of the unmet expectation. If we do not do this, we will allow the seed of bitterness and resentment to enter in. This seed of bitterness will create leanness in our soul and eventually will spread to others.

Ask yourself today if you have any unmet expectations. How have you responded to them? Have you processed this with the Lord and others who may be involved? These are the steps to freedom from unmet expectations.

When Fear Keeps Others From Their Destiny

by Os Hillman

No one else dared join them, even though they were highly regarded by the people. ~ Acts 5:13

Every work day in thousands of offices across the globe, Christians testify of God's grace in their lives in some way. Sometimes it comes through a subtle performance of their duties with a smile and peace that non-believers cannot understand. In other cases, there might be more visible, unexplainable examples of God's work. This was the defining difference in believers in the early Church. They lived a life that followed with signs and wonders that could not be humanly explained.

The apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders among the people. And all the believers used to meet together in Solomon's Colonnade. No one else dared join them, even though they were highly regarded by the people. Nevertheless, more and more men and women believed in the Lord and were added to their number (Acts 5:12-14).

How often we have heard non-believers acknowledge their respect for the Christian workplace believer , but they dare not join them in their persuasion. It is this fear of the unknown that keeps many a non-believer on the path to hell. Who has God placed in your path today to help detour from a path of eternal torment to a path of freedom and eternal life? The Lord desires that each should come to knowledge of the truth so that they might be saved. As you enter the workplace today, ask the Lord for a divine appointment that might be the turning point for a lost soul. There's no prayer the Lord will delight in more than this one.

A Two-way Relationship

by Os Hillman

He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught. - Isaiah 50:4b

The prophet Isaiah describes his relationship to God as a relationship that has two-way communication. Have you ever felt that your communication with God was only one way - you to Him only? Isaiah tells us, "The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary.... The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears, and I have not been rebellious; I have not drawn back" (Is. 50:4-5).

The key to Isaiah's relationship with God lies in four important principles:

1. He had an instructed tongue. Isaiah had given over rule of his life completely to God's purposes.

2. He knew the word of the Lord, which allowed him to sustain and encourage others.

3. He took time to listen.

4. He did not flee from the tough assignments. He didn't shrink back.

If we are to be able to listen to God, we must follow the same principles. Knowing and spending time studying God's Word allows the Holy Spirit to bring to mind His instructions for what He wants for us. Recently, I became very busy in my work and other activities. It wasn't long before I felt distance between God and me. I had to make a conscious decision to carve out more time alone to listen, study, and meditate on His Word. This is the lifeline for the follower of Jesus. When we begin to lose the relationship, we are susceptible to becoming rebellious, going our own way. Invest your life in this relationship so that you may continue to hear His voice and sustain the weary ones around you.

A walk down memory lane

Went dancing last night, the music was good. It’s been years since I stepped into a club and danced. The feeling was familiar. It’s reminiscence, like a recollection of my past. As if I’m back into my teens, the young, curious and daring Lynn. I kind of like the feeling, no worries, no reservations, just do whatever I want, whatever I like. There’s no restriction. Life at that time is like a puzzle, full of challenges, you never know what you’re going to get, for everything seems fresh and new. It’s curiosity!

I had enjoyed that freedom so much, that it has never crossed my mind that I would mellowed down. For better or worse, people really do change over time; or should I say, Time and season mold a person’s character.

I do like my present self; being in total control of life, always think of consequences before acting. In other words, I take only calculated risk. Anything that is uncertain, ambiguous, and vague, I wouldn’t jump into it. Some said that I am matured to do so; others said that I’m being over-protective and restrictive over myself, and will miss out all the fun I could have.

Over-protective or not, it doesn’t matter, I just want to do things right. I couldn’t afford to make a mistake; life is too short to make any corrections, and sometimes, there isn’t a back-door for mistakes made.

There’s something that I have in mind, I want to do for a long time.
Just that the timing, the place, the people doesn’t fall in the right place.
Looks like I got to spend my birthday alone this year.

I need time.
I need care.
I need companionship.
I need attention.
I need assurance.
I need affection.
I need adoration.
I need appreciation.
I need consistency.
I need commitment.
I need integrity.
I need reliability.
I need faithfulness.
I need a soul mate.

I always believe …
When comes to soul mate, somehow he will find me. I will just need to sit there and wait.

As the second-hand ticked, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, time passed. I am still waiting for my perfect soul mate.